Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.
The 5 Loves Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
When I just looked this book up on Amazon to link the title to purchase it, I saw that it was the #1 seller in marriage books. That is very impressive. I'm not really surprised.I devoured this book in a couple days. I believe I could have read it in one sitting but made myself take time to digest things as I went. I have heard many reviews of it and was delighted to finally get to it. Frankly, I probably should have purchased it to read it sooner, as it was always checked out at the library - it was that good.
Surely there are many reviews of this you could read. As soon as I finished it I handed it to TJ, which is maybe the best thing I can say about it. I told him that I wanted him to read it - truly wanted him to - and that it was due in two days. To his credit, he put his book (The Princess Bride) on hold and jumped right in. We've talked about it extensively since and he speaks of it as a very enlightening book.
Dr. Chapman's hypothesis, which he believes thousands of couples have proven, is that everyone has a native, or primary, love language. He believes there are many dialects of these languages but there are truly just five love languages. Research shows that the "in love" feeling so associated with dating and engagement disappears after about two years and at that point love becomes a choice. Each person receives love in a different way and it becomes very significant for each person to receive love in the way that is most meaningful to them. Most of us were brought up by parents that spoke one or two languages so we frequently are far from proficient in each language. Marriage, then, becomes a learning place where we often need to learn the language of our spouse. For love to thrive and for the marriage to be wonderful we need to consistently choose to speak the language of our partner.
The languages are:
1. Physical Touch
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Acts of Service
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Quality Time
The book describes each in detail and what you can do to learn that language. I really loved it. I believe TJ and I have mostly concluded the primary love language of each and our more consistently working to speak them. It has been an eye-opening experience for us and one we truly appreciate.
This one is good stuff. I'm asking for it for Christmas (if I don't gift it to TJ for his birthday).
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