Anne of Green Gables

"Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."

Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

Good heavens, how could I have never known Anne of Green Gables?  I have never read this book and I can't imagine how or why!  The only comfort I have in waiting so long is that I have now had such a fun treasure in my twenties that I never knew about!

When Mary saw I was reading this she asked me, "Have you come to kindred spirits yet?"  :)  What a delightful term for those people we all hold near!

I just love this book - it went right along with happy people living in mountains and now on islands!  Anne is so wonderfully endearing I understand exactly why she has become so well known over the years.  Perhaps I love her most because she always has such great intentions.  She is such a fun protagonist.

To start the series, Anne leaves an orphanage to live with a brother and sister (Matthew and Marilla) in Green Gables.  They had planned on a boy, but feel so badly for Anne that the keep her.  Over time, they come to love Anne, in spite of (or maybe because of) her many incidents and accidents.  It is a beautiful, rich story.  I will undoubtedly read this again and again (books 2-7 are on my library counter to read right away!)

LOVED this.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

"Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured."

 Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

I heard about this book some months ago and thought, "As introverted as I am, I probably ought to read that."  I have come to generally accept that I'm introverted but feel mostly inconvenienced by it, especially at work, where I need to be a team player and negotiator.  This was a great book.  Perhaps more than anything else it made me feel empowered as an introvert: reassuring me that there are many others that are also introverts that are highly effective and successful.

The book climbs through different themes, including how we came to be a nation that so highly prizes extroversion, what introverts are naturally good at and how introverts can be more effective at extroverted tasks.

There were a number of times throughout the book that I felt like shouting, "That's me!  That is me!"  One example:

"Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions."

I also found a great definition for one of my key characteristics, which Cain describes as "high sensitivity."  This is me to a T:

“The highly sensitive [introverted] tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk. They often describe themselves as creative or intuitive. They dream vividly, and can often recall their dreams the next day. They love music, nature, art, physical beauty. They feel exceptionally strong emotions--sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy, and fear. Highly sensitive people also process information about their environments--both physical and emotional--unusually deeply. They tend to notice subtleties that others miss--another person's shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning a touch too brightly.”

 I just felt so empowered by the whole thing.  As soon as I finished I handed the book to TJ and said, "Read this.  It will teach you all about me."  I think that, in spite of our full book shelves, I may just spring and buy this one.  I definitely think I'll be reading it again.

I, Juan de Pareja

"Art must be true.  It is the one thing in life that must rest on solid truth.  Otherwise, it is worthless."

I, Juan de Pareja by Elizabeth Borton de Treviño

In my quest to read all the Newberys, I picked up "I, Juan de Pareja" in January 2009.  Because I love Spain, and I know who Velazquez is, I devoured the story, wishing genuinely that there was more.

Velazquez is a renowned Spanish painter from the seventeenth century.  His most famous piece of artwork, "Las Meninas" is an intriguing work that I feel privileged to have seen in person.  I, Juan de Pareja, is a book about Velazquez through the eyes of his slave, Juan de Pareja.  Juan is inherited by Velazquez when he is a young boy and becomes a pillar for Velazquez: he sets the canvases, washes the brushes, arranges the palette, and travels many miles at his master's side.  It is a captivating story, both in regards to the artwork that Velazquez created, and in terms of the beautiful relationship that unfolds between master and pupil.  Juan's voice is simple and raw, filled with honesty and emotion.

Whenever I am asked about my favorite book I respond that it is "I, Juan de Pareja."  I can't believe five years have passed since I read it, but I truly enjoyed again experiencing the surprise that comes from being uncertain how it would all go.  I love this book.

By the way, the cover is snatches of the artwork of Velazquez, which I also just love.  Go look up "Las Meninas" and read a little about the history of it.  It is the only self-portrait we have of Velazquez.

Letters

In a letter to her husband:

Dearest darling,

       I've been away from you enough during the last year to last me for the duration of this existence and I hope Heaven is a small place or travel is by instant atomic force."

Letters by Marjorie Pay Hinckley

As a sophomore in college I spent a semester studying abroad in Spain, about an hour outside of Madrid.  I went with a group of about 30 other kids from my university in the US and we lived with families for the 3 months we were there.  Each morning we had class for several hours and then we had the afternoon to spend how we pleased.  Several of the kids jumped on the train after school each day and headed to the city, where they spent hours, then days, then weeks and months exploring Madrid and beyond.  After class each day, I walked home and stayed there.

My genuine hope while living in Spain was to know what it felt like to live in Spain.  I spent as much time with my family as possible, because I wanted to see and know and feel how they lived.  I spent two hours at lunch with them everyday.  I watched TV and movies with them.  I played games with them, made dessert with them, practiced French with them and went on walks with the dogs.  I was fascinated by the quotidian lifestyle and have no regrets about how I spent my time.

I find I am still drawn to people that live quiet lives of consistency and build a life out of routines, habits and little actions.  I love Marjorie Pay Hinckley because she was genuine, full of life, humorous and involved in the day-to-day.  I just finished reading Letters, a compilation of letters she wrote throughout her life, for the second time and enjoyed it yet again.  It feels to me like sitting down with one of the older women you love, cherish, admire and lean on because their experience in life has granted them wisdom and stability that is gained no other way.  Her letters made me laugh on several occasions and made my heart hurt on others.  She brought countries of the world to life with her descriptions of them and she pushed me to reach out to family members more consistently (if she can drop postcards to grandkids from countries around the world I can certainly take time to reach out to those that are a few miles away).  I just really love this book.  She makes me feel so optimistic about life.

By the way, I typically link the title to amazon but this book is particularly hard to find as it's been out of print for a half dozen years or so.  I just got my hands on a used copy and after cleaning up the cover a bit it's good enough for me: happy hunting!

The 5 Love Languages

For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships.
Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.

The 5 Loves Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman

When I just looked this book up on Amazon to link the title to purchase it, I saw that it was the #1 seller in marriage books.  That is very impressive.  I'm not really surprised.

I devoured this book in a couple days.  I believe I could have read it in one sitting but made myself take time to digest things as I went.  I have heard many reviews of it and was delighted to finally get to it.  Frankly, I probably should have purchased it to read it sooner, as it was always checked out at the library - it was that good. 

Surely there are many reviews of this you could read.  As soon as I finished it I handed it to TJ, which is maybe the best thing I can say about it.  I told him that I wanted him to read it - truly wanted him to - and that it was due in two days.  To his credit, he put his book (The Princess Bride) on hold and jumped right in.  We've talked about it extensively since and he speaks of it as a very enlightening book. 

Dr. Chapman's hypothesis, which he believes thousands of couples have proven, is that everyone has a native, or primary, love language.  He believes there are many dialects of these languages but there are truly just five love languages.  Research shows that the "in love" feeling so associated with dating and engagement disappears after about two years and at that point love becomes a choice.  Each person receives love in a different way and it becomes very significant for each person to receive love in the way that is most meaningful to them.  Most of us were brought up by parents that spoke one or two languages so we frequently are far from proficient in each language.  Marriage, then, becomes a learning place where we often need to learn the language of our spouse.  For love to thrive and for the marriage to be wonderful we need to consistently choose to speak the language of our partner. 

The languages are:
1. Physical Touch
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Acts of Service
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Quality Time

The book describes each in detail and what you can do to learn that language.  I really loved it.  I believe TJ and I have mostly concluded the primary love language of each and our more consistently working to speak them.  It has been an eye-opening experience for us and one we truly appreciate.

This one is good stuff.  I'm asking for it for Christmas (if I don't gift it to TJ for his birthday).

French Kids Eat Everything

Chances are, my children are not going to grow up to go to Harvard, or to be major league sports stars, concert musicians, or NASA astronauts.  But no matter who they grow up to be, how and what my children eat will be of great importance to their health, happiness, success, and longevity.

French Kids Eat Everything: How Our Family Moved to France, Cured Picky Eating, Banned Snacking, and Discovered 10 Simple Rules for Raising Happy, Healthy Eaters by Karen Le Billon

Last year I picked up the audio version of Bringing Up Bebe and went back and forth between being entirely intrigued by it and being sort of bored with it.  Overall, though, I enjoyed it and picked up some insights along the way.  One of the most captivating themes of Bringing Up Bebe, for me, w
as the way that French families, and children in particular, eat.  So when Janssen said that French Kids Eat Everything was one of the best books she's read this year, I went and snagged it from the library.

This is such an interesting book.  I really enjoyed it.  The foundation of the book is that the narrator, Karen Le Billon, married a man (Philippe) from France.  When their children were 2 and 4 they decided to move from Vancouver, Canada back to France for a year.  Both she and her husband were given a one year leave from the university where they taught and they moved to the same village as his parents, in Brittany, France.

And so the adventure begins, with all sorts of cultural mishaps, misunderstandings and mistakes.  Children, and adults!, in France eat so differently from those in North America.  Karen is quite floored to see children at the age of two eating a four course lunch in day care everyday with utensils.  There is no whining or crying or complaining.  The kids eat things like fish, leeks, beets, and Roquefort cheese on a daily basis (I showed TJ the menu for one week of preschool lunches and we truly did not recognize 70% of the foods on it).  It is so fascinating. 

Over twelve months Karen, with the help of her husband, his family, friends and other locals, starts figuring out what the French do differently that make their kids like all sorts of things that her kids won't touch (and neither will any other child in North America) and why they are so well behaved at every meal.  Eventually she compiles a list of ten rules, each of which is explained in the book. 

Many/most of these rules is pretty contrary to the norm for North American parents so it was refreshing to see a new perspective.  That said, I don't think the typical person in North America could follow these to a T, which she discusses in the last chapter (after they've had to make adjustments in Vancouver themselves).  However, as TJ and I discuss someday having children, some of these ideas take on greater weight for me.  My biggest takeaways:

1. Food should be used for nutritive purposes only.  This does not mean one should eat only to meet dietary guidelines (in fact, the number one purpose of food in France is pleasure, which I think is delightful), but rather that food should not be a pacifier, a distraction, a soother, or a threat.  The French would simply never think to say, "Stop hitting your sister or you don't get dinner."  They (including kids) would also never wander to the cupboards when bored.  It is just engrained in them that meal times are 7:30, 12:30, 4:30 (for the kids) and 8:00 that they don't do differently.  Already I sneak candy to the kids all around me and realize now I am encouraging food as a comfort or distraction, which only breeds problems in the long run.

2. Kids can like all foods.  Research shows that it takes 12-15 instances of exposure to like a food (taste is learned).  The French master this by beginning to introduce everything they can think of (really) before the child is 2 years old (at which point a fear of new things sets in: irrelevant when everything is already familiar).  This concept is practiced both at home and at school, as vegetables, especially, are served as purees, sauteed, raw, in salads, as side dishes, and in casseroles.  Parents are gentle but firm in insisting that the children try them and peer pressure often helps the situation.  In the end, the children do truly learn to leave all different things, which I just don't see where I live.  My goal, which I know is aggressive, will be to introduce many vegetables between the ages of 1-2 (the French typically feed their child a leek puree [I've never had leeks] before anything else, including cereal).  The plan is to start making these with TJ now!

3. Food should be enjoyable, not guilty.  This goes against everything I've been taught growing up: I love it.  I really appreciated that the French believe that food is meant to be enjoyed: it should not be a source of guilt or anxiety.  The quote at the beginning of this post sums it up for me: eating is a part of life and should be healthy, happy and enjoyable.  For too many people that is not the case and I think we can do better training our children!

And on that note, go read the book.  It's fascinating.  And it taught me that maybe if I just give olives a few more tries I'll like them.

The Council of Dads by Bruce Feiler

"Slow down.  I've forgotten how beautiful the world really is.  Do you see it?  Do you see it?"
-Bruce Feiler, The Council of Dads, page 170

The Council of Dads by Bruce Feiler

This is one of the best books I've read in some time.  I snagged this from the Reader's Choice area at the library and I am so glad I did!  I devoured it in a day (I can typically measure how good a book is by how long it takes to read) and could start again right now!  The number of Amazon reviews (44) tells me that not nearly enough people have heard about this book, so let me do my part: this is a great read.  A thoughtful read by a remarkable author (if all sentences were written as well as his, reading would always be more pleasant than eating, I think).

Bruce Feiler and his wife, Linda, have twin two-year-old daughters (Eden and Tybee - such beautiful names) when Bruce is diagnosed with cancer.  Bruce has osteosarcoma, a disease than fewer than 100 adults in the US get a year.  This book covers the time frame of what he terms "The Lost Year": his year of treatments and surgery and war with cancer.  He includes letters he writes to friends and family every 6-8 weeks, which are gorgeously if not painstakingly written and thought-provoking and he includes a narrative about the project that earned the book its name: The Council of Dads.

A few days after his diagnosis, and because he has been worrying about his daughters and the possibility that he may not be around to teach them, Bruce comes up with the idea of forming a group of men that could be his "voice" for his daughters if cancer did take his life.  He and his wife brainstorm together to form a list of six men that each know and represent a distinct part of him and then he meets with each of them personally and reads them a letter he's written, asking them "Will you be my voice?"

As you can imagine, each person he asks is deeply touched and emotional about the situation.  Some of them have been friends for more than 20 years, others for a much shorter time but very deeply.  Between the letters that he writes to family and friends, Bruce writes in depth about his encounters with each of these men he loves and respects and the specific lesson that he would like them to teach his girls if he can't.  In the end, he has six lessons that he summarizes as:

Approach the cow
Pack your flip-flops
Don't see the wall
Tend your tadpoles
Live the questions
Harvest miracles

The last chapter is the letter for his daughters, that brought me to tears when he ended with:

"Take trips, girls.  Take chances.  Take off."

The book didn't feel contrived or superficial to me, at all.  Perhaps it is because people near me are struggling with cancer right now, but I felt like his battle was real, his feelings genuine and his words sincere.  I felt privileged to be included in his life for a few hundred pages, and grateful for the lessons I gathered while reading.

"I believe the best teacher is beauty.  I'll teach them to memorize Auden poems and Shakespeare sonnets so that wherever they are at any given moment in the world, they can just sit under a tree and have Auden or Shakespeare of whomever as their companion for an afternoon..  I'll give them the sound of Mahler symphonies that they can hear again and again and that will always trigger similar emotions.  I'll show them how to appreciate Chinese calligraphy, which is an expression of your internal energy.

"What I want them to know, is how easy it is to see beauty.  How the wonder they felt on that plane never has to leave them.  Miracles are all around them.  They just have to learn to see through the clouds, and go out and harvest those miracles themselves."

-page 195

Oh, and because I respect you, this one had a couple (5 or less) instances of the "f" word.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

This one was fabulous! 

The first thing you'll notice about this book is that the whole thing is written in letters; the setting is immediately after WWII in Europe, where so many have lost everything.  There are letters between the folks that live in quaint, gorgeous Guernsey and there are letters the are to "outsiders," talking about the German occupation of the Channel Islands (something I had never before thought about but was fascinated by).

I loved the character development in this book and really enjoyed figuring out who was who by the letters they wrote (as well as the gossip neighbors wrote about them!)  Initially I wished there was a list of characters and their relationships, but after the first fifty pages I found that figuring it out was part of the fun and the authors were certainly going to give me everything I need.  I only wish that there was more by the authors for us all to enjoy.

As a side note, the original author passed away before the book was completed and her niece took over finishing it.  I was surprised to find this out as I never found a change in tone or style: well done, Ms. Barrows!

This is one I heartily recommend: it absolutely makes the list of best books I've read this year.  In fact, I would not mind having this one on my shelf so I could easily come back to it over and over again.

Also, for what it's worth, Ella Minnow Pea is also written in letters and is a fascinating, clever read!